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Jerks, braggarts, egotists and cheapskates...
We all have a jerk in our lives, whether it be a friend, a lover, or just some jerk face at the office. Here are the best "jerks" insult jokes to put these jerks, braggarts, egotists, and cheapskates in their place when necessary... HA HA HA!
He always wants to be the center of attention. When he goes to a funeral, he's sorry he isn't the corpse.
She thinks she's a siren, but she looks more like a false alarm.
He's one of those big shot executives who has to have two desks -- one for each foot.
He knows when an idea is good -- when it's one of his own.
Success hasn't changed him a bit. He's still the same stinker he always was.
No wonder he suffers from migraines -- his halo is stuck on too tight.
He's such a big gun in the office, they're planning to fire him!
She has two nose specialists - one for each nostril.
He gets carried away with his own self-importance. The trouble is, not far enough.
At work he dines with the brass -- they don't trust him with the silver.
He's the kind of guy you'd really like to run into sometime -- when he's walking and you're driving a car!
He hasn't been himself lately. Everyone has noticed the improvement.
He thinks he's out of this world --and everyone wishes he were.
He's good for people's health. When they see him coming, they take long walks.
He's a man of few words. Trouble is, he keeps repeating them.
Everyone confuses him with a hockey player. They tell him, "You stink on ice!"
He's a nice guy -- a nice guy to stay away from!
He's a legend in his own mirror.
When he dies, they'll bury him face down -- so he can see where he's going!
People like him don't just grow on trees -- they swing from them.
He never hits a man when he's down -- he kicks him.
Before firing an employee, he gives him a raise -- so he'll be losing a better job.
He's like a Christmas tie -- loud and useless.
His idea of a practical joke is to go into the Home for the Blind and flatten out all the Braille.
He has a waterproof voice. No one can drown it out.
Success hasn't gone to his head -- just to his mouth.
He's a real carefree guy - he doesn't care as long as it's free.
He's a man of rare gifts. It's rare when he gives one.
When he donates money to charity, he likes to remain anonymous - so he doesn't sign his name on the check.
Money means nothing to him. When you ask him for money, you get nothing.
He's such a tightwad, he even has a burglar alarm on his garbage can.
He always takes his dates to a French restaurant - Jacque in the Box!
He's such a tightwad, he won't even spend the time of day.
When he takes a dollar bill out of his pocket, George Washington blinks at the light.
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