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Donald Trump Jokes

donald trump jokes

Do the 2016 election results got you down? Can't stand to have egomaniac Donald Trump as president? Want to have some good Donald Trump zingers to post on Facebook? Here are some good Donald Trump jokes for ya, and don't forget to vote in the next election!

Donald Trump always wants to be the center of attention. When he goes to a funeral, he's sorry he isn't the corpse

Donald Trump knows when an idea is good -- when it's one of his own.

Donald Trump is such an egomaniac he has two nose specialists -- one for each nostril.

Donald Trump has had several foreign wives. Turns out, there ARE jobs Americans won't do.

Donald Trump is 100% American. Even his hair was made in the U.S.A.

Q. What is 18 inches long and hangs in front of an a-hole?
A. Donald Trump's tie.

In a recent survey, 70% of Americans responded that Donald Trump being elected president would make them nervous. The other 30% said it would make them Canadians.

Donald Trump wanted to become President badly, and he's realized his ambition -- he became a bad President.

Donald Trump often gets carried away with his own self-importance. The trouble is, not far enough.

Donald Trump is a man of few words. Trouble is, he keeps repeating them.

Q. What is the difference between a pig and Donald Trump?
A. The pig wears a better toupee.

Q. Why does Donald Trump hate wind energy?
A. The wind mills blow his toupee off.

Q. What's the difference between God and Donald Trump?
A. God doesn't think He's Donald Trump.

As a boss Donald Trump is so mean... before firing an employee, he gives him a raise -- so he'll be losing a better job.

I just found out Donald Trump is running for President as a Republican. I thought he was running as a joke.

Donald Trump is like a Christmas tie -- loud and useless.

Donald Trump said he will make America great again. Instead, he is making Americans migrate again.

Q. How does Donald Trump plan on deporting illegal immigrants?
A. Juan by Juan.

Donald Trump has a waterproof voice. No one can drown it out.

Q. What happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra?
A. He grows taller.

Q. Why did Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election?
A. Because if he did win, he�d have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

Success in politics hasn't gone to Donald Trump's head -- just to his mouth.

Donald Trump is one of those big shot executives who has to have two desks -- one for each foot.

Donald Trump is a man of rare gifts. It's rare when he gives one.

When Donald Trump donates money to charity, he likes to remain anonymous -- so he doesn't sign his name on the check.

People like Donald Trump supporters don't just grow on trees -- they swing from them.

Q. How many Donald Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One thousand: one to change the bulb, and 999 to chant "TURN THE BULB! TURN THE BULB! TURN THE BULB!"

Q: What do you call a Donald Trump supporter in the library?
A: Lost!

Q. How are Donald Trump supporters like yesterday's coffee?
A. They are a little weak in the bean!

Q. What is two miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A. A Donald Trump rally!

If you want the real dope about anything, go to the real dope -- a Donald Trump supporter!

Donald Trump supporters have been accused of being racist. "That's not true," they will say. "We're in no hurry."

Q. Did you hear the one about the Donald Trump supporter with an I.Q. of over 100?
A. Neither did I.

Q. Why do Donald Trump supporters join the KKK?
A. Because they look better with hoods on.

Enjoy these Donald Trump jokes? Read this amusing satire article: Donald Trump picks chimpanzee for cabinet position.

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