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DRUMMER JOKES:
The World's Funniest Jokes and Gags About Drummers
We do love and appreciate our drummers, but let's face it: they are a "special" breed of musician (if you can call them musicians, ha ha!). So, without further ado, here are the world's funniest drummer jokes for you and your own drummer's amusement:
Q. How many drummers does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. Eleven -- one to replace it, one to hold the ladder, and nine to say Neil Pert would've done it better.
Q. Why do drummers keep their drumsticks on the dashboards in their cars?
A. So they can park in the handicap zones.
Q. What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend?
A. Homeless!
Q. Did you hear about the world's smartest drummer?
A. Neither did I!
Q. How do you know when a drummer is at the door?
A. The knocking speeds up.
Q. What is the last thing a drummer says in a band?
A. "Hey guys, why don't we play one of my songs?"
Q. What does a drummer use for birth control?
A. His personality.
Q. How many drummers does it take to replace a light bulb?
A. None -- they have a machine that does that now!
A drummer walks into a store, goes up to the counter and says to the clerk, "Let me have two packs of Ernie Ball guitar strings -- standard guage, one dozen Dunlap nylon guitar picks 60mm, and one can Gibson guitar polish."
"You must be a drummer," says the clerk.
"How did you know that?" asks the drummer.
"This is a fish and chip shop," answers the clerk.
Q. Why did the punk rock drummer cross the road?
A. He was stapled to the chicken.
Q. What is the first thing to come out of a drummer's mouth when he speaks?
A. Drool
Q. What do you call a drummer with charm, personality, and charisma?
A. A guitar player!
Q. Why do drummer's carry trash in their back pockets?
A. For identification!
Q. What has three legs and an asshole?
A. A drum stool.
Q. What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
A. A drummer
Did you hear about the drummer who lost his pet dog? He didn't bother to put an ad in the newspaper... he says his dog can't read.
Q. How does a drummer know which way to put on his underwear?
A. Easy! Yellow in front, brown in back...
Q. What did the drummer say to the band leader?
A. Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?
Q. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Five -- one to hold the light bulb and four to rotate the ladder round and round.
A traffic judge asked a drummer in court, "Have you ever been up before me?"
"I don't know," responded the drummer. "What time do you get up?"
If you want the real dope on anything, go to the real dope -- a drummer!
Q. Why did the drummer refuse to buy an electric toothbrush?
A. He says he doesn't know if his teeth are AC or DC.
Q. What's the difference between a government bond and a drummer?
A. Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
Q. Why did the drummer bring a bag of garbage with him to the movies?
A. His mother asked him to take out the trash.
Q. How do you confuse a drummer?
A. Give him a piece of sheet music.
Q. Why do rock bands have bass players?
A. To translate for the drummer.
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